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Take some time out together You can also take action at home to improve your marriage on a daily basis.For example you can prioritise a daily talking time with your husband when you share how each of you are doing.ASK THE EXPERT: QI have been married 10 years and we have four children aged 9, 7, 6 and 4.Recently, I discovered that my husband has been using adult chat rooms online and seems to have been communicating in sexually explicit ways with other people.Such intimacy is built on communication and friendship and leads to deep affection and a satisfying sex life.However, creating this intimacy is hard work and much harder than the easy escapism of the internet or watching TV or even over-working or domestic chores.When I challenged him, he was embarrassed and then defensive saying it was just harmless flirting and that he had not gone over any line.

AWith people spending more and more time online, accessing pornography and adult websites can be a big problem in modern marriages.

Real intimacy is created in everyday communication, in the nitty-gritty of sharing a life together and in the hard work of resolving conflicts and accepting the other person as different to you.

Find a chat partner or many partners by location or by sexual interests.

This should be time you have alone perhaps when the children are in bed and to make sure it is distraction free (with the computer and TV turned off).

In addition, try to have at least one special evening a week when you get a baby-sitter when you can do some new things together. The biggest prize of a successful marriage is closeness and intimacy – which allow a couple to accept and support one another on a deep level.

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