But obviously if she’s on the site too, you’re both in the same boat.By pointing out your hesitations, she’s bound to assume you’re an insecure person. If you feel so inclined to explain yourself, wait to do it when you’ve met in person — and be confident about your reasons for joining.[pagebreak] INSECURE ONLINE DATERThe scenario: “It’s so annoying and a major turn-off whenever a guy has something in his profile like ‘still not sure about online dating but...’” — Randi, 25 The problem..the solution: We get it.A lot of you are self-conscious about the fact that you’re on a dating site.NOT-SO-SMOOTH OPERATOR The scenario: “I recently received a message that said, ‘Damn you’re a pretty white girl, you into muscular black men?’” — Kristen, 27 The problem..the solution: Aside from the obvious inappropriate nature of the comment to a complete stranger, men should never mention their physical characteristics or their own body parts in an introductory message.GAMBLERThe scenario: “I got a message that said ‘Obviously you’re cute, but I’m just having trouble believing that this is actually you because you seem too good to be true.
For those whose hearts are hurting now, those whose hearts are getting stronger every day and especially those who can share their stories of healing., we’d like to assume you know better than to make mistakes like these.Still, navigating the world of online dating can definitely be tricky—what kind of message is clever, but not creepy?Instead, channel your energy into meeting someone else. A general rule: once you’ve sent four messages back and forth, someone should ask someone out — preferably the man. [pagebreak] PRESSURE COOKERThe scenario: “I was really into someone I went on a few dates with, until he told me he was taking down his online dating profile and he wanted me to do the same.” — Jess, 34 The problem..the solution: Nothing will scare a girl faster than putting that kind of pressure on her too early into the relationship.MISSING IN ACTIONThe scenario: “One time I was messaging back and forth with a guy for two weeks and having a great conversation, but he was taking too long to ask me out, so I stopped talking to him.” — Kelly, 32 The problem..the solution: If you’re into her, ask her out! And if you’re not, why are you still talking to her? When she’s ready to make her exit from the online dating world, she’ll let you know. ” The problem..the solution: Sending a generic message—especially one as uninteresting as this—is not what’s going to make you stand out from other guys.