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I believe wholeheartedly that sex and love should coexist.In fact, I believe they need to coexist; that without love, sex is just a Band-Aid fix for something that should be addressed with words rather than walks of shame.We were making out on my couch when he went to unbutton my jeans — which was about seven steps beyond what I was ready for, and my body language told him as much.

Wait until the third date and you risk being considered a tease. Perhaps, but at this point you’re both still fretting over whether or not to eat another piece of bread; delving into sexual histories (or lack thereof) seems a bit extreme. I should be better at sharing this bit of information by now.As for The Chat, I’ve found that over time it’s become more of a Dude Decoder than Relationship Wrecker.Let me explain: Every guy reacts differently to the No Sex bomb.Basically, what was once just another bit of my identity has, over 26 years, become a defining element of who I am, whether I like it or not. (At least when it’s good.) I cannot wait to have sex someday.Despite what you may think, abstaining has not made me a miserable, lonely, pleasure-deprived shell of a person. In fact, I’m all for sex — from what I’ve heard, it’s fantastic! Right now, however, I appreciate — and even take pride in — my virginity. Not in an “I’m better than them” way, but in the same way that being taller than most makes someone unique, or having two different-colored eyes.

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