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Therefore, the ways in which they express and interpret feelings of closeness may be so unexpected (according to average, neurotypical standards) that this communication may be unnoticed or misinterpreted by their partners, For AS people, sharing a beloved special interest, with all its minutiae, may be a most intimate act.
Practical tasks are another way that many people with AS show affection — but this may be a social and emotional cue missed by those neurotypical partners who’d rather have roses than weekly inﬂation of their tires!
Try getting a new wardrobe (or a few pieces) or starting a new workout routine. Schedule in Your Free Time – When you don’t have the kids, take advantage of the extra time to see your dates.
Make sure you schedule time for your new mate he comes into your life.
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Many relationship elements that I assume are essential are not necessarily relevant to my clients. I have begun to think that all of us — whether or not we have Asperger's — should create our own "operating manuals" to discuss with prospective lovers and partners.
We could include all kinds of useful information, taking the sting of surprise from some issues and opening opportunities for communication that would otherwise have been closed.
The AS person doesn’t always know how to tailor expression to suit his or her partner, and the partner doesn’t always know how to interpret, appreciate, or respond to the offered expression. Many with Asperger’s Spectrum eventually learn expected social and emotional skills and/or become adept at making adjustments in order to get through life, including life with a partner.
Some ﬁnd a compatible niche in their work life and manage to trade their brilliance (for these people are often brilliant) and expertise for tolerance of their social eccentricities.