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It's true that cybersex is not for everybody, and it can be emotionally dangerous even if you're not in a committed offline relationship and risking infidelity.

Some cyber partners even end up leaving the virtual space to get married. But it still irks me that it's such a shock when I explain that having sex online does not mean it's your last resort.

Some rooms warn you first."Not everyone uses a webcam during chat, while others – especially couples – connect their home video cameras to their computers and provide the highest quality video."It's really nice when the couples are on cam together," says Kirk.

"When they start playing, when you see actual sex, that's when it's the best.

One of the dangerous delights of cybersex is that both men and women can form strong emotional ties, regardless of geographical, political, cultural or marital complications offline.

If you do fall ass over teakettle for someone you meet online, Kirk suggests confining the "honey baby sugar darling" talk to private sessions.

Kirk says his main responsibility as room admin is "to kick out the creeps."Minors and spammers are booted without question; so is anyone who starts "directing" – telling other people what to do on their cameras – or harassing other members, particularly the women. " or trying to lure premium members to free instant messengers is also grounds for bouncing.

Much better than porno movies because it's real people. They look like everybody else, with all their flaws and imperfections."He shrugs.

"It's good to see people who are actually attracted to each other and not having sex for money," he says.

It kills the mood if you toss too many endearments around in public, and mood is very important in adult chat."There's a momentum that happens," he says.

"You'll see a lot of cams up, lots of women playing, a little free-for-all.

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