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By pointing out your hesitations, she’s bound to assume you’re an insecure person. If you feel so inclined to explain yourself, wait to do it when you’ve met in person — and be confident about your reasons for joining.

GAMBLERThe scenario: “I got a message that said ‘Obviously you’re cute, but I’m just having trouble believing that this is actually you because you seem too good to be true.

Pick something specific she wrote about herself, and ask her a follow-up about it.

If nothing else, she’ll admire the fact that you took the time to “get to know” her.

Still, navigating the world of online dating can definitely be tricky—what kind of message is clever, but not creepy?

What the hell are you supposed to say about yourself in your profile? [pagebreak] OUT-OF-TOWN AND OUT OF TOUCH The scenario: “A guy sent me a message saying that he wanted to meet up for a drink, but when I asked when he was free, he said he was ‘going out of town’ for the next two weeks and that we should schedule something after.” — Andrea, 31 The problem..the solution: If you tell a girl you’re “going out of town,” she’s going to assume you’re busy dating other women.

[pagebreak] INSECURE ONLINE DATERThe scenario: “It’s so annoying and a major turn-off whenever a guy has something in his profile like ‘still not sure about online dating but...’” — Randi, 25 The problem..the solution: We get it.A good rule of thumb: if you aren’t available for a date within 7 days of sending the message, don’t send it.NOT-SO-SMOOTH OPERATOR The scenario: “I recently received a message that said, ‘Damn you’re a pretty white girl, you into muscular black men?My buddy thinks you’re real and now we have a bet going. ” — Kristin, 26 The problem..the solution: Aside from the fact that this is a pathetic pickup line, it’s certainly never going to work. [pagebreak] DUMPED AND IN DENIALThe scenario: “I went on a few dates with a guy I met online, and I eventually decided we weren’t compatible, so I was honest with him.A lot of women are looking for something serious and have no interest in participating in your immature wager with friends. He refused to accept it and continued to message me listing all the reasons why we’d be great together.” — Ashley, 30 The problem..the solution: No matter how strongly you feel about your potential with a woman you meet online, accept the break-up gracefully.

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