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To start with: the fact that the man may be attracted to a woman – or believe that she’s attracted to him – automatically disqualifies a friendship implies that ultimately it is his and For another, the idea that just being attracted to somebody means that the relationship isn’t “just” a friendship carries the implication that there is a magical dividing line between romantic or sexual attraction and friendship.

To be a man, so we’re told over and over again, is to be unable to compartmentalize our sexuality from our daily lives.One of the most famous examples – especially with relation to friendships – comes from the movie When Harry Met Sally: The issue here is the underlying assumption that the fact that an attraction It’s a popular idea.We – men included – are always making jokes about our penises having minds of their own or the blood draining from our brains in order to fuel our erections, laughing in that “ha ha, no but seriously…” way that we do when we want to bring up uncomfortable truths.There was affection and loyalty felt between friends.It was a love of the mind, not the heart or the loins.

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