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Share it with your loved ones, for even if they don’t understand in the end, at least they can know that YOU are not alone in this. Not to mention the idea of a child feeling completely threatened by the intimacy of a family. There is a great irony here: proclaiming so much love, experiencing so much hate!

Pass this on, re-post it, and do whatever you feel helps you survive. Thousands walking the hard, hellish lonely road of adoption of older, traumatized kids. I am traumatized by their trauma.” -Monica Most people (including professionals) cannot grasp the idea of ‘children’ mastering that level of manipulation and triangulation. Without knowing it, they’ve done you—and me—a favor, given you a platform for preaching the k When people realize it is the living God you are presenting and not some idol that makes them feel good, they are going to turn on you, even people in your own family.

So it might seem hypocritical that the idea of online dating makes me so uncomfortable, I want to cover my ears and start loudly chanting whenever someone suggests it.

You might not (probably won’t) have the storybook, fairytale ending.

I mean I know that people have hardships and difficult relationships from time to time but to have it strung together I was appalled at how little social service people, who work day in-and day-out with foster kids, understood the effects of trauma, the rages and the secondary trauma that families experience by welcoming this into their families. You’re going to be like sheep running through a wolf pack, so don’t call attention to yourselves. Don’t be upset when they haul you before the civil authorities. It is not success you are after in such times but survival. Before you’ve run out of options, the Son of Man will have arrived.” -JESUS (in Matthew -23, To those of you who DON’T walk this road, who AREN’T in the trenches, who haven’t parented a child as described, but YET haven’t abandoned, betrayed, or turned away…GOD BLESS YOU IMMENSELY AND FOREVER. You can’t IMAGINE how just your “being there,” your validation of the pain, can be the very thing to keep our heads above the water. And God will no doubt reward you for standing at all.

I think the hardest part is that until you have lived with that bullseye on your back people just can’t grasp the life you live. Some people will impugn your motives, others will smear your reputation—just because you believe in me.

And know that if you choose to engage in activities and behavior that the parents feel is detrimental to their child’s longterm healing, you are forsaking a friendship for your own feelings.

Your best intentions might be the worst of devastations. And the thousands of others committed from the beginning thank you as well.

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